Y Magazine

How to be a good parent: It’s all about you!

If you have no clues about how to handle your teens, read on and rediscover your plan of action, writes Gayathri Das. 



Raising teenagers is no simple task these days. But there are things you could do, and things you shouldn’t, to make it all a less-complicated affair than what you have been through.

Who is the parent?
It is always important for the child to realise that he or she is the child and you are the parent. Teenage is the time when they start feeling they know more than you. You should be the one leading them and you should always be the rule setter. 

Plan
For any project we handle, we first plan the things to be done. Similarly, you need a plan to parent your teen. You need to decide on what you want them to accomplish and strategise accordingly. 

LISTEN
This is a stage where they start questioning their identity. So, it’s important you show them that they are valued. Keep aside your regular chores and listen to them. Listen to what they feel and the things they go through and support them. Talk to them about their fears, concerns and excitement and lead them in the right way. Have meaningful conversations with them.

EXPECTATIONS and DISCIPLINE
Be clear about your expectations about them and let them know about it. Keep a few disciplinary actions if they don’t follow the rules you have set for them. At this stage they must realise life doesn’t go by their rules. They will always have to be accountable to someone in life like parents and teacher. They must realise that society works that way.

SELF EXPRESSION
Give them the freedom to self-expression within safe bounds. If they want to dress in a manner or do their hair in a way they fancy, allow them to. You should not the rule maker always.

 SOCIAL MEDIA
Have clear rules about phone, internet and social media use. Have an open talk with them about what’s happening. Always have access to the things they do with their phone, internet, etc. so that they don’t fall into traps.

TRUST
You must earn your teenager’s trust. For earning their trust, you have to trust them too. It is a give and take. This way they can have open talks with you.