This week, Y’s movie critic, Kevin McIndoe gives his take on Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge, Tubelight, Vanamagen and The Beguiled
For some reason, the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise appears to have passed me by. There are some things so well marketed that while one has heard of them, you don’t feel drawn to them – like Instagram, Adele or the Atkins diet.
Still, I have now seen my first Pirates flick, the fifth in the series.
In this, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) hooks up with two youngsters Henry and Carina to find Poseidon’s Trident, a curse that can control all of the sea’s curses. If they succeed, Jack can shake off an undead crew that is after him and Henry can find his father.
For good measure, he encounters old buddy Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), and venal villain Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) with whom he has a history.
However, I can’t see what all the fuss is about, on the strength of this. This movie made for the second dullest evening I’ve had this month, and was only marginally more entertaining than a Melodic Death Metal gig (don’t ask) that I was dragged along to last week.
I’m just not getting it. It’s awash with swashbuckling action, fight scenes and CGI wizardry but the pace is a bit, well, pedestrian, Sparrow is just completely OTT, and it all seems like a rip-roaring romp that’s a comedy masquerading as an action movie.
However, acting titans Rush and Bardem stop Depp from doing a Dick Turpin with the whole picture.
Mind you, maybe playing the famous 18th-century English highwayman would be another (and highly lucrative) vehicle for Depp to camp it up some more. This effort fails to stand, and deliver.
There’s nothing like a good, old-fashioned family drama to remind us what’s important in life. In a small town in northern India, Laxman (Salman Khan) lives with his brother Bharat (Sohail Khan).
Neither is married or has kids so the brothers are close. When war breaks out, Bharat is drafted into the army and Laxman gets left behind. As the number of casualties rises and the war takes a turn for the worse, Laxman realises he has to do something. Simply waiting for his beloved bro to come home in a body bag and be handed a very neatly folded up flag is not on his agenda.
I’m not exactly sure whether this is meant to be a reboot of Tarzan or Crocodile Dundee but set in a different stratosphere.
A denizen of the densest of jungles soon finds himself in a modern city.
Still, our hero (Jeyem Ravi) is up to the challenge of being airlifted to the city from his remote island along the Indian coast, the lifestyle of which hasn’t changed in hundreds of years.
Aha, but when he falls in love then that’s when the trouble starts (doesn’t it always?!) If you can overlook an unsubtle hint of how empty our world of plenty really is, then sit back and enjoy.
When an injured Union soldier in the American Civil War (Colin Farrell) is taken in to a posh all-girls’ school in Virginia, you know there’s going to be a tinderbox of tension more combustible than a mountain-sized portion of fried green tomatoes. Headmistress Nicole Kidman runs a tight ship, and an injured Yankee is not about to threaten it.
However, as she attempts to tend his injuries, she uncovers some feelings in her that have lain dormant for years. Trouble is, her colleague Kirsten Dunst has not been immune to the soldier’s charms either. There’s more to these girls than starched, pearl-white petticoats; you can count on it. Sofia Coppola directs.
Oman Release Date: July 29